There's an element of truth within the lyric, 'When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you.' In infancy our parents teach us the basics. We learn to smile, and then as we grow we'll associate it with positive things such as affection, humor, laughter, love and, to a certain extent, empathy. From the very first flirtatious steps of a relationship, smiling holds the key to the ignition thus determining whether or not that car will ignite but the person actually holds the key, and opts to turn the key into the ignition or defer. Take the average workday as an example. Picture a scene that unfolds each day, for a month or maybe a year, where you walk into your workplace and people hardly smile or they grunt their Good Morning. Their eyes are lackluster, they go through the motions. This may occur daily, or more than half the week. Would you be enthused, or would you want to jump ship and seek a prettier harbor? Humans are capable of 5000 facial expressions using 44 muscles.
Over the years I've just about read it all where relationships are concerned. The entire gamut of relationship guides always places a high emphasis on talking, and I find it perplexing because there's not usually a lot of talking where the very act of physical intimacy is
concerned. The only type of sex that features a high level of yakking is phone sex, but the main issue within relationships concerns the three dimensional kind, which is why I've never wholly bought into the, 'Talk to him about it.' I haven't believed in the Rules either. That tome ought to take a leaf out of Anthony Robbins' success and be titled, 'Unleash the Carol Brady Within.'I've never known any one in my life who has fully solved their sexual issues purely by talking about them, at length. Where sex and relationships are concerned, it can veer more toward the Elvis 'A little less conversation, a little more action,' approach and the best place to start, is working on the smile.
It's easy to get caught up in routine. Most couples do. There can be a mortgage, work, and when babies arrive, there are more fun and games (diapers, late nights, reflux, and so much more). Before you know it, you're moving with a routine that harks back to prehistoric survival, or being on autopilot.
You wake, rush out of bed (because the baby cries, or you need to hunt or gather) and prepare for the day ahead. Women put on their 21st Century war paint, and prepare before leaving, as do men, and in the rush of getting it all done, they can forget to smile at each other. Males knot their ties, and grab their notebooks and briefcases, and before you can say 'Yo', they're reversing out of the driveway or halfway down the block. Sometimes it can be more unsettling, particularly when people have time to smile but they've adapted to not smiling. People generally sleep with people they like, who offer a degree of comfort
There's a direct relation between not smiling, and distancing people. An example from a different arena relates to politicians and the importance of a smile or grin. Political candidates use it to their advantage, and it works very well. During the last U.S. federal election, George W Bush cracked jokes, laughed and engaged his audience, whereas his opposition, John Kerry took a serious stance and rarely cracked a jovial smile. Now this may have little to do with winning an election, but the contrasts were obvious. I can’t say that I was too surprised when he won and that may come across as naïve, or ‘basic’ but I’d find myself laughing at his jokes each time a news segment highlighted the electoral campaigns. It may be a political example, but politicians are people too and many are advised by professionals to take advantage of body language to optimize charisma. A smile may be free, but it’s also the most common ice breaker known to humankind and further, it may also play a pivotal role in relation to sexual intimacy, and sexual frequency.
sex and relationships
sexual frequency
body language
behavior
Sex after the wedding is very delicious.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
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